Student: Apple !!!
Teacher: Jor se bolo
Student: JAI MATA DI
Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then, what is my age? STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Student:(to teacher)Ma'am my pen has run out of ink.
Teacher: Go run after it.
Teacher: Ramu, get up. How can you sleep in my class?
Ramu: I can teacher, if you keep your voice down.
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher: "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Teacher: "Sam, you talk a lot"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
Teacher: "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in his hand.........
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
PAPPU : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : PAPPU!
TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?
PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".
PAPPU : I is...
TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."
PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
PAPPU: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his ?
PAPPU: No, teacher, it's the same dog !
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
A Tribute to the Professors on their usage of English.........
# Inside the Class:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor.
You, meet me behind the class.(meaning AFTER the class)
Both of u three, get out of the class.
Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today.
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.
Take 5 cm wire of any length.
shhh... quite, the principal is rotating in the school.
(Facing the Board) Dont talk in front of my back
.# About his family:
I have two daughters. Both of them are girls?(?)
# At the ground:
All of you, stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the ball.
# To a boy, angrily:I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
# Giving a punishment:
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and under-stand the tree...
You three of you, stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)
# Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school (to that boy):..."Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre."
SOME MORE...............
Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette...? "
Class teacher once said :
" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"
once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."
"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."
dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....
it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)
teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!
"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"
My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"
"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board
"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"
LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"
Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father
No comments:
Post a Comment