ufff......... my wife..!!

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle

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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,"There waswater in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?"She replied,”In the lake." -Henny Youngman

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.-Henny Youngman

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, Iwas a fool when I married you."The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge thanto let him keep her.

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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like tointerrupt her.

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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not toreport it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much doesit costto get married?"The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

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A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire.""And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend."A billionaire." she replied,

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men.It only seems longer.

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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all.

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wifecan spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask forwhatever he wants,but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared formarriage.They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.