ufff......... my wife..!!

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle

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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,"There waswater in the carburetor." I asked her, "Where's the car?"She replied,”In the lake." -Henny Youngman

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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.-Henny Youngman

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, Iwas a fool when I married you."The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge thanto let him keep her.

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I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like tointerrupt her.

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A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not toreport it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much doesit costto get married?"The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

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A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."

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A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire.""And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend."A billionaire." she replied,

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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It's not true that married men live longer than single men.It only seems longer.

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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all.

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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wifecan spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask forwhatever he wants,but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."

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Men who have pierced ears are better prepared formarriage.They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Have some fun frndzzzz

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[7] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[8] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[9] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[10] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[11] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[12] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[13] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[14] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[15] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[16] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[17] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[18] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[19] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[20] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[21]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[22]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[23]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[24]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.

[25]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!